are from the Original Hollywood Squares TV Show, back when great answers
were spontaneous and clever. (Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions,
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false -- a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably
a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think he's really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and
ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with
your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter,
and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail.
What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting
into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on
his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in
them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.